66. Faith-Based Body Awareness for Overwhelmed Women with Cheryl Weaver

You are listening to the podcast where we ask, how's all that working for you?

Because sometimes all you need to change your life is a moment of reflection.

In this space, we are done with sugarcoating and we embrace keeping it real.

I'm your host, Rachel D.

Baker, guiding you on this journey to create some breathing room, set healthy boundaries, and reclaim your time guilt free.

This is real talk with a bit of sass and we are always seeking the truth in God's word.

Welcome back.

If you've been around here for a minute, you know we've been diving into this idea of caring for ourselves so that we can actually show up well for the people we love and the purpose God's called us to.

Last week we talked about stewarding our bodies with nutrition coach Elaine Pierce.

Getting into the nitty gritty of blood sugar energy, the way our physical health impacts our day to day life.

And today we're going to take it a step deeper.

We're talking about body awareness.

What it means to slow down long enough to actually notice what our bodies are telling us and how that awareness can help us regulate our nervous system, move through stress with a little more grace and stay grounded in God's presence.

To help us explore this today, I am so excited to introduce you to my friend, Cheryl Weaver.

Cheryl holds a BA in education from Harding University.

She is a trauma informed registered yoga instructor, and she's a certified spiritual director and retreat facilitator with Cedar Rock Ministries.

In other words, she knows her stuff when it comes to integrating body, mind and spirit in a way that honors God.

This conversation is going to be packed with practical tools, gentle encouragement, even just a simple check in practice that you can use today.

Even if you've got a full calendar and a messy kitchen, it doesn't matter.

I think you're gonna love it.

So grab your water, your coffee, whatever yummy drink makes you smile, and let's get into it.

Hello, Cheryl.

Welcome.

Hi.

Thank you for having me.

I'm so excited you agreed to come on the podcast.

I know this is an outside your comfort zone experience and so I really, really appreciate you coming actually gearing up for a whole series.

We've got three episodes we're going to jump into together, so this is the first of three.

And today we are covering body awareness, which I'm so excited about.

But before we can jump into all the good stuff, every guest has to answer this first question.

So I would love to hear, what does breathing room look or feel like for you?

I would say just pause, just A pause.

For me, I have learned that practicing pause throughout the day in the middle of a stressful moment, no matter what, just pause to me is time to breathe.

It's time to not react, maybe in ways that I tend to if I get stressed or get overwhelmed.

So yeah, just a pause, literally to breathe.

A pause to literally take a deep breath, to notice my surroundings and.

Yeah, like a literal physical pause to breathe.

Yes.

I love that.

That's so good.

Because honestly, as we go through our hectic days, how often do we allow that for.

Do we allow ourselves to just literally hit that pause button and take a deep breath and be present where we're at, noticing like that?

I think that's so good.

Which is the perfect segue.

We're going to just start with the basics, with this conversation.

Because some of this can sound and feel a little woo woo, you know, to some people, I know it's.

It feels a little out there.

And so I just like the basic idea.

What is body awareness?

Why does it even matter?

Especially for Christian women who often live in their heads.

Right.

Or in our to do lists.

We are just very all up in whatever it is we're doing.

So what is this body awareness and why does it even matter to me?

Well, we, I mean, we move and we breathe in our bodies.

Right.

We experience this life in our bodies.

We are even checking off our to do lists in our bodies.

Yeah.

And it affects, I mean, what we do, how we move through life affects our physical bodies.

So, yeah.

Being aware of how the things that we are involved in and what we're doing affect our health is really, really important.

So, you know, I love sometimes when I'm leading people through different body awareness exercises, you know, we hold so much tension in our bodies, especially as women, in our hips, in our jaws, in our shoulders, in our gut.

You know, we just, everything we do affects our bodies.

So paying attention to the messages that our body is giving us throughout the day really is a good way to stay healthy, in my opinion.

You know, I've noticed times when I'm driving down the road, both hands clutched on the steering wheel, and my shoulders are literally up by my ears.

Yeah.

And all of a sudden I'm like, oh, am I hurting so much?

And in that moment, it's a.

This is a pause to pause, take a deep breath, allow my shoulders to fall away from my ears and ask, why am I so tense?

What is this?

And I mean, it's usually obvious, right?

What we're stressed about, the things that are going on in our life.

And in that moment, to remind myself that I am not alone, that I have God's love, the power of the Holy Spirit, to take a breath and ask the question, what is this tension in my shoulders?

What is it saying?

And what's the invitation from God here in this moment?

Oh, I love that.

You know, even when you're like, scrolling Instagram or something, somebody will have this little animation or something will pop up and be like, I'm just here to remind you to unclench your jaw and release your shoulders.

You know, I love those things because I'm always that person who's sitting there with the clenched jaw, raised shoulders.

And I do.

I'm like, oh, okay, let it all out.

But that next step of asking, what are my clenched up shoulders or clenched up, what is it telling me?

What is it that's causing me to feel like this?

I.

I love taking that extra step because it goes deeper than just, okay, relax my shoulders real quick and move on, because in two seconds, my shoulders are gonna be right back up at my ears.

That's right.

So I love that idea of asking what it's telling me.

What is my body telling me?

And I think this leads me kind of to my next question.

So many of us have learned to just ignore or override those signals from our bodies.

We just.

That's just how we are.

We roll with it.

Right.

And so what are some common ways that we as women tend to disconnect from our bodies without even realizing we're doing it?

Well, I mean, I think we just get busy, right?

We get busy caring for other people or checking off, you know, the to do list.

And it's funny because when I lead women through personal retreats, as I'm facilitating them, one of the things when we have our first check in time together is pay attention to the signals that your body gives you throughout this time.

I'm going to be real here.

If you need to go to the bathroom, go to the bathroom.

Yeah, I love it.

How many of us, as women, like, don't even pay attention to those signals?

It's like, we.

Nope, we're going to wait.

We're going to wait.

We're going to wait.

We got two more things we're going to do, you know, and it's.

That's a silly little thing, but just, you know, paying attention.

That's a sensation and something that our body tells us when our bladder is full, right?

Yes.

And I mean, I love how you're like, I'm gonna keep, like, I'm gonna keep it real.

I'm gonna be real here.

Like, that's a thing.

That's all we do here, Cheryl.

We keep it very real.

And I love that you point that out because.

Yes, like, moms do it for sure.

I think women in general do it.

Listen, teach your life.

Been that.

Like, there's no time for that.

You just deal with it.

You may not go the whole time you're at school.

And that's just the way.

And I understand.

Sometimes you can't.

Sometimes you just can't.

But, you know, I mean, if you can.

Right.

Pay attention.

Just go.

Yeah, pay attention to that.

That's so good.

So just being busy.

Is there anything else?

Like, I just wanna make sure we're covering the bases here.

Is there anything else?

Like, we don't even realize if you notice.

I mean, this is a little thing, you know, we all experience pain in various levels of our day, some more than others.

But let's just talk about just a headache, you know, Especially if someone doesn't have headaches often or even if you do.

And a lot of times the first thing that we do is let's just silence the headache.

Let's just get rid of the headache.

Let's just take some medicine and get rid of it.

And there could be.

I'm not, you know, I don't know.

You have to, you know your body.

Well, I hope you know your body.

Yeah.

All right.

We're working on it.

Yeah.

Pausing for a minute and being like, oh, is this headache?

Is it because I'm clenching my jaw?

Is it because I'm dehydrated?

Is it because I'm tired?

Is it because I'm straining my eyes?

Like, there's lots of different reasons that you could have a headache.

And I think body awareness is stopping pausing, paying attention, and giving your body what it needs rather than telling it to shut up.

Yeah, sometimes.

Yeah.

Well.

And I think that's a natural response, especially when we're busy.

Like, I don't have time for this.

I do just need it to shut up.

Yeah.

I need.

Just.

Just leave me alone.

I got stuff to do.

So.

So that makes perfect sense.

So for the woman who is hearing this, she's listening and like, oh, my gosh, she's talking about me.

She's thinking.

I'm so disconnected, I don't even know where to start.

What is just a first small step that she could take today?

I.

You know, I love leading people through.

Through the pause of just putting your feet on the ground.

Mm.

Feeling your feet on the ground, just feeling.

And then a quick even body scan of just noticing posture, paying attention to how you're holding your shoulders, how you're sitting, maybe even paying attention to any pain.

Noticing pain.

And sometimes we, you know, we have to disconnect and move on.

But if you want to practice, I mean, it's not something that all of a sudden you go from unaware to totally aware.

And we can't be aware all the time.

We have to live, we have to move through life.

But just those check ins of pausing and paying attention of where we might need to tend to our bodies.

Notice.

Yeah, notice.

It sounds so simple when you say it out loud.

When you say something like stand with your feet on the ground and notice your feet on the ground and how it feels.

Like it sounds silly to say the words out loud but at the same time sitting with that, doing it, thinking about it.

It is such.

I know, like there's the actual word.

Like it is a very grounding thing to get you out of the chaos and put you back in the present moment and be aware of your body.

And it's kind of like I said earlier, like it sounds kind of woo.

Woo.

It sounds kind of silly when you say the words.

But goodness, the impact doing something like this can have is.

It's kind of ridiculous to.

Can I just say, like it feels kind of ridiculous how impactful it is.

But that's why we're having the conversation, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it is.

I mean, it's not something I have.

It's been decade plus of me taking time and learning this practice of paying attention to my body.

And I don't think it really clicked for me how impactful it was until I ended up in physical therapy once.

And my physical therapist was like, I am so I can't believe how.

Well you can show me where the pain is.

Like, usually people, you know, people would come in and be like, I'm having pain, but it's like on this whole side of my body or in this, they weren't sure quite where the pain was.

And to me, I.

That clicked in that moment of like.

Oh.

This practice of paying attention to my body and being able to pinpoint.

Mm.

You know, it's.

It is noticing and it's also noticing your unique communication with your body.

Everybody has a different.

So I can't even tell you exactly how to how your body communicates with you, you know?

Right.

So yeah, just it's practice and it's a slow practice.

Slow process.

Yeah.

Which is hard.

I feel like that is a hard thing for us.

You know, when I hear something is a slow process.

My first gut response, well, I don't have time for that, you know.

And I know that that's a common response.

Probably someone listening had that same thought.

But the importance of it, you know, kind of like we've been talking about doing these things for ourselves, for our well being so that.

Right.

It's always so that we can show up for our people, live in our purpose.

Yes, all of those things.

So I think this is so good.

I, I want to come back to the logistics of the actual like body scan like you've said.

But I do want to know if there are any specific like tools or strategies that you have found or really like that help you manage your time or.

And allow that breathing room, allow that pause for you.

Is there anything in particular that you have found?

You know, some people it's like paper planner, digital or a journal or timers.

Has there been anything for you?

Well, I'll be honest, I want to be better with my planners and my timers and things like that.

It's not for everybody.

It's not for everybody.

That's something I'm aspiring to be, is a little more organized with all of that.

But for me, you know, I am in a different season.

My, my kids are out of the house now.

So this is a, I am in a, a totally different season.

There was a season in my life where I had three small children at home and my husband traveled all the time.

And I wish that I'd had some of the, you know, even information that I have now that I didn't have then.

I don't know that there's a magic pill or a magic thing, you know, but practice, that's the thing I would just say is just practice in whatever way works for you.

If it's post it notes on your mirror or if it's a timer, if you, you know, respond well to timers or if it's signing up for a yoga class.

And I know that there are a lot of people who, you know, they're not quite sure about yoga but there's a lot of great resources online.

The practice piece I know is something you're very good at.

When you find a thing that you love.

I know that practice is something that I would say just that strategy is probably a thing that I hear you talk about a lot that you do is like this is a thing I want, I need, I will practice it.

Well because for me, I don't know if it's a natural thing for me.

It's like I just, I don't want.

I never wanted to go through the process.

I wanted to be really good at something immediately.

That's just, you know, if I want to start something, I just, I want to be good at it immediately.

And when I finally realized that, you know, specifically, I'll use yoga as an example.

Every time I go to my mat, every time I go to my yoga mat, it is not an open up into the right process of me getting better at yoga.

Every time I show up, it's.

I'm in a different place, I have different things I'm carrying.

And so I don't look at it anymore as a.

Yeah, something to improve in.

I think there was something that shifted with me in that to just realize that.

No, it's just something I practice every time as a practice to show up.

I don't know if that is.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Yes.

Yeah, it took a lot of pressure off of me too, to get excellent, you know, like constantly be better.

I think that was one of my downfalls was I was always trying to get better and get better and get better and get better.

Yeah, at some point there's going to be a dip.

Right.

And then I would feel like a failure if I didn't do it perfectly.

So.

Yes, well, I think that is what is preached a lot.

We're supposed to be improving all the time, right?

There's self help books and there's reach your goals and aim for the stars and, you know, all these things.

Get better, get better, be a better version of yourself, improve.

And I love just the concept of continue to practice, continue to show up, show up for yourself, show up for the moment of breathing, you know, the pausing.

I think, oh, that's so good for this conversation of just like body awareness and pausing, things like that.

Is there a book or a podcast in particular you would recommend?

I mean, I know that a lot of people are aware of the book the Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk.

It's.

I mean, it's a good, It's a good book.

It's an academic read.

Yes.

But just how our bodies are affected by our life, the things that we experience.

And that was really good starting out.

One of my favorite books recently is a book book by Tara Owens.

It's called Embracing the Body.

I really.

That's.

That was a really great read.

And it's Finding God in our Flesh and bone.

And that to me was a beautiful read.

I love that.

I'M writing it down right now.

And I will say with the body keeps the score.

It is.

It is.

It's an academic read.

It's a.

It's intense.

But that is one that I'm not a big audiobook person.

I like the paper book in my hands.

I like the visual learning.

But that is one that I actually enjoyed listening to more.

So if it.

If it looks intimidating or you start reading it and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is like a textbook.

That's when I would recommend on.

On audiobook.

So that's probably.

I will include the link for that as well.

But I love any kind of, you know, the learner in me, the teacher in me.

Like, give me all the resources.

So I'm gonna link those for our ladies.

And before we wrap up today, could you possibly walk us through?

Like, you know, we get to the end of this episode and somebody's like, yes, I'm ready.

I want to do this thing, but how do I do it?

Just a simple practice that helps somebody check in with their body.

Maybe something that a busy mom, a working woman, a ministry leader could do in just a few minutes a day.

Could you do that for us?

Absolutely.

Oh, I'm so excited.

So if you are in a place, either if you're standing, you know, if you're driving or whatever, just maybe find a little more length in your spine.

I like to notice my feet on the ground.

And I also close my eyes.

For me, when I close my eyes, sometimes that just relieves.

I mean, removes the distractions.

If you're driving, obviously do not close your eyes.

Yeah, please don't close your eyes if you're driving.

Maybe pull this up again later.

But the rest of it should be good.

But I like.

I like to feel my feet notice where I am, then move to the top of my head.

And just as I breathe in and breathe out, which, that's another really powerful thing just to notice the breath, notice the inhale, notice your exhale and start at the top of the head and just kind of move through and just naming, like crown of the head, jaw, neck, shoulders, and just kind of moving through at your own pace and just pay attention.

Maybe creating some space between your ears and your shoulders and again noticing the cadence of your breath.

Sometimes just listening to your breath in your own ears, just paying attention.

It's a great practice to pay attention to any areas where you're storing tension.

It's also a good present moment practice to be grounded in where you are.

I'll go One step further here.

This can be a separate practice, or it can be one that is incorporated with that simple body scan.

Sometimes I will move my breath into a simple breath prayer, and it can be really super simple, just identifying in that moment what I need and breathing in what I need from the Lord.

And then on the exhale, just releasing what I can release what is not mine to carry and allowing the Holy Spirit to help me name the thing that I need and the thing that I need to release.

And so that's been a very, very helpful embodied practice with my breath.

I love that I.

I have read several breath prayers.

That was a new concept to me when I read about it.

And it's.

It's such a simple thing, because I think a lot of times we've talked about prayer here on the podcast before we had Janet McHenry on, and she's written about prayer personalities and, you know, what kind of prayer works for you.

But I love that idea of breath prayer where, you know, as you were talking, I thought, I am breathing in peace.

I want to breathe in peace and calm right now, and I want to breathe out stress and tension and just.

Not that I'm, like, magically all peaceful and there's nothing on my mind, but just that process.

I think it's part of, you know, the permission to take a minute to allow God to work in you that way, to invite the Holy Spirit into your day again.

It's kind of like that moment of reflection where you're at, like, how's all this working for you?

Well, I'm running like a crazy person and my hair's on fire.

So really nothing's working great.

But what you're talking about and just that simple practice that, you know, take a minute, one or two minutes to just do a quick scan.

I think that can make such a difference and just kind of.

It feels like a reset to keep going in the day.

Maybe not quite as frazzled as you originally felt before you started.

That's so good.

Okay, we obviously are gonna continue this conversation on other things that are related, but we've got two more episodes in this series, so I cannot wait for those.

But for today, where can people find you and connect with you?

I offer spiritual direction, which I know we're going to talk about in the next episode, and help lead retreats through Cedar Rock Ministries, which is a spiritual formation and relationship enrichment ministry through retreats and other events.

I love Cedar Rock.

I love the heart of Cedar Rock.

We're going to be sure and link that in the show notes as well.

Cheryl, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your heart and that simple practice that makes body awareness feel so much more doable.

It feels less intimidating to have it just laid out like that.

And I know so many women listening are gonna benefit.

They probably needed the permission just to slow down for a minute and actually notice what's going on inside their own skin.

So thank you for that.

Ladies, if your body's been whispering or maybe even yelling at you lately, I hope this conversation gave you the courage to pause and to listen.

You do not have to fix everything overnight.

But what would it look like to take just one small step today?

Maybe it's a few deep breaths.

Maybe it's drinking some water and stretching for five minutes.

Maybe it's just saying thank you to your body instead of criticizing it.

That's.

That's a whole thing.

Whatever it is, just do that.

Let the things you've heard in this episode change something for you.

And don't forget, you are not doing this alone.

My email inbox and my Instagram DMs are always open.

I would love to connect with you in the next episode.

We're going to keep this conversation with Cheryl going.

We're going to do a deeper dive into spiritual direction, spiritual discernment.

Because once you're more connected to your body, you might be surprised by what starts kind of bubbling up there.

So we're going to talk about how to pay attention to what God is saying, how to make space to listen, and how to move forward when you're not totally sure what he's asking you to do.

I know.

I have felt that way.

And I'm sure you have, too.

It's going to be so good.

Until then, please give yourself some breathing room.

And don't forget to thank God for the gift of your body today.