58. Engaging the Next Generation: Beth Meverden on Raising Church-Connected Kids

You are listening to the podcast where we ask, how's all that working for you?

Because sometimes all you need to change your life is a moment of reflection.

In this space, we are done with sugarcoating and we embrace keeping it real.

I'm your host, Rachel D.

Baker, guiding you on this journey to create some breathing room, set healthy boundaries, and reclaim your time guilt free.

This is real talk with a bit of sass and we are always seeking the truth in God's word.

Today is going to be a wonderful conversation, especially for the mamas.

Reading the book that we're going to discuss today tugged at my heart.

It gave me a little space to breathe.

There was a moment of grace in there that I appreciated.

We're going to get into all of it.

Today we are talking with Beth Meverton and I'm so excited for you to hear from her.

Let me tell you a little bit about her in case you don't know who she is, but by today's end, you will know her well and go follow her.

So Beth Maverdin.

She has been ministering to children, teens and their parents for over 25 years.

So she knows what she's talking about.

Beth is the family ministry director at her church, planning and facilitating church discipleship for infants through teens.

In addition to her recent book, Churching four Keys to Keeping youg Children Engaged in Church, Beth has authored and published numerous resources, articles and teaching curricula for parents, youth and children's ministry.

You can find Beth's published works with family time training 1 for 50, which is international children's ministry, Focus on the Family Magazine Guide magazine, Celebrate Life magazine, Interlink and download youth ministry.com, y'all.

She's everywhere.

She's been doing this a while and she knows her stuff.

She speaks for moms, groups, small groups, book clubs, Bible studies, churches, online summits.

She's everywhere.

But she also loves the one on one times encouraging mamas.

And that's what we hope you are going to get out of today's conversation.

We are talking to you.

We are here to encourage you.

She and her amazing husband live in Colorado and they have one daughter and two sons.

Beth, how are you?

I am so good.

I'm so excited to get to have this conversation with you, Rachel.

This is so fun.

Yes, me too.

I was so excited when you reached out to me and shared your book.

I was like, I'm sorry, has she been like peeking in on my life recently?

Because this sounds like something like the Lord's divine intervention here, Rachel, have this resource and then I got your book, and then I read your book, and I can't wait to talk about it.

And I will say, like, the title, Churching Kids, It's a very interesting title, the way to word it, because church itself has a very interesting connotation for a lot of people.

So I do want to dig into this.

I'm jumping ahead.

Before we dive down the rabbit hole of this, I've got to ask you the question.

The question.

I'm ready.

Beth, what does breathing room look or feel like for you?

Oh, I've been.

I've been ready.

I've been readying myself for this question as I've been listening to your podcast specifically for me.

I have to spend time alone with Jesus every morning if.

If I don't.

And it needs to be, you know, my kids can be around and seeing me, you know, spend time with Jesus in the Bible and praying and those kind of things.

But it's really a lot better for me to be quiet.

I learned when I was 19 that I have a reading retention problem, that some people debate whether that's actually a thing in my life.

But.

And so it.

It manifests itself, especially when I'm reading the Bible and I'm tired.

And so in order for me to understand what God wants me to learn about him through His Word and have that breathing room and be ready for what he has for me on that day, I've got to slow down, be quiet, read it.

And I actually do this really cool thing where I color through the Bible for the good morning gals.

I use their stuff, and it really helps me kind of slow down and go, okay, what is this saying?

And then I can look back at it and go, oh, yeah, that's this.

Or whatever.

But I.

I've got to have that time because otherwise I just default into my old self.

And nobody wants that, so just gotta have that breathing room.

I love that it is so important, and I love that you utilize.

I've seen a lot of, like, the coloring devotionals or Bibles or.

And I have heard people like, why are we coloring the Bible?

How is that helping any?

Are we just trying to be back in kindergarten or so?

Right.

I.

I know as a formal special ed teacher the benefits of reinforcing things with coloring.

And so I love to, as a grown woman, saying this really helps me remember and solidify the things that I'm reading.

I think that's so good.

And I think it's a.

A permission slip, maybe a little card of grace to those who might Feel that it is helpful, but hear those voices saying it's unnecessary or silly or Right.

So listen.

Anything that helps you read and understand scripture, let's go.

Yeah.

Use it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I love that.

Okay, now we can dive down the rabbit hole.

Okay.

You talk a lot about in.

In your writing and in your speaking, all of those things.

You focus a lot on what you call intentional spiritual training for kids.

And I know you're all up in children's ministry, youth ministry.

You've been doing this a long time.

So I'm going to speak for those of us who already feel overwhelmed just trying to keep these children clothed and fed and sheltered and alive, not dead on a daily basis.

Right.

Just keep everybody alive.

This and, you know, the intentional spiritual training.

It sounds like maybe Beth just wants to come and add to my to do list or that list just somehow needs to get longer.

And with that, are you also saying my children's salvation rests squarely on my shoulders?

To do this training, I need to hear from you, Beth.

Oh, I'm so ready to talk about it.

Let's go.

Let's get to the second part first, because it's the most important.

Okay.

Our salvation is from Christ alone.

And it is all up to Him.

You know, it is by grace, through faith, and it is Him.

And so we have to trust in him that no matter what we do, whether it's the right thing or the wrong thing or whatever, we gotta trust our kids to them, just like we have to trust ourselves to Him.

But here's the thing.

God has given us the responsibility as their parents to tell them about Him.

And so part of it is, you know, even my first chapter, I always.

I talk a lot about.

It's our job, not theirs.

And I'm talking about church leaders, even though I am one.

I think so many parents abdicate their role as their children's primary evangelists and disciple makers to the church we go.

That's what we pay you for.

That's what we.

You know, you're the one with the Bible degree.

I don't have a Bible degree.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I've never been trained to do this.

And so sometimes out of fear, we do that, sometimes out of a lack of training, sometimes just laziness, whatever it is that we.

What we do.

And then we just send them to church and hope they get what they need.

And so my.

My goal is to empower parents to train their own children to know love and share Jesus.

But it doesn't have to be daunting.

Yeah.

It gets to be part of our everyday life that we need to choose.

The intentional part is we have to choose it to be a priority in our lives and our children's lives.

Like, if.

If your goal, if you really want to know that your children know the truth about Jesus, guess what?

You gotta make that a priority and you gotta tell them the truth about Jesus.

And actually, my latest resource is just how to share the good news about Jesus with your children.

Because I keep talking to parents and I say, wait a minute, have you.

Have you ever been trained to do this?

Like, at church or anywhere?

And so many parents are like, no, I have no idea how to do that.

And so what I did is I wrote something up.

It's free.

When you go to my website, if you just do backslash share, it's right there.

And it explains to you in detail why we wanna share the truth about Jesus with our kids.

But then also how.

I love that, you know, we'll be linking that in the show notes.

Yes.

It's gonna be there.

Yeah.

And give it to everyone.

I want everybody to know how to do it.

And then also, when we go to Deuteronomy 6, it starts with the best part.

You know, listen, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord alone.

And you must love the Lord, your God, your heart, all your soul and all your strength.

We know that.

We sing it.

We talk about it all the time.

Yeah.

And then it says this.

And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.

Repeat them again and again to your children.

I'm serious.

Like, what else do you have to repeat?

Pick up your socks.

It's like all the other things we repeat.

Let's repeat the word of God.

And then it says the best part.

We need to hear today.

Talk about them when you're at home and while you.

When you're on the road and when you're going to bed, when you're getting up.

And just like, wherever you go, just integrate your faith into your children's lives.

They really, really need that from you to, you know, bedtime.

What do you talk about your day?

Talk about where they saw God moving in the morning.

Pray that God would be with them as they go throughout their day.

Pray about all the different things that are happening.

And as you're going on the road.

I mean, we are in cars so much.

So much.

Oh, my word.

So the greatest part about cars is it's a captive audience.

Yep.

So you really can have the Best conversations with your kiddos about their faith, about what they're thinking, about what they're feeling, all those things.

Like we do, our kids do awanas.

It's the Bible memory club.

It's so fun.

And that's when we do our Bible memory time is because we're going anyway.

So I just write it out on three by five cards and I go, okay, read it to me until they have it memorized.

And then we go back and forth with it.

And it's so fun.

So just use the time you're already with your kids.

There's so much more resources, so many more resources I can give you when you're ready to take those next steps.

But it doesn't have to be something that's overwhelming and where you go, it's just one more thing.

I don't even care.

I just want my kids to not be dead.

Yeah, right.

I'm just trying to keep us all alive on the daily.

Come on.

Yes, yes.

Yeah.

Such good suggestions.

We are in the car.

So much, so much.

And I will say, as you're talking, I'm remembering some.

Just simple things where I wasn't mindfully, intentionally trying to like, instill the love of the Lord in my trip, but just conversations happen.

You know, my kids, when they were little, my son would like, mom, look at the rainbow and just to remember what the rainbow is and say, like, doesn't God make the prettiest stuff?

You know, I love seeing his promise.

And not that I'm like preaching a sermon, but just one or two little sentences about the pretty rainbow just kind of brings it back to the forefront of everybody's mind.

So I do love hearing and remembering little things like that.

And for, for you to say like, yep, that's it.

That's the intent.

Okay.

Okay.

I did a thing.

Awesome.

I don't have to be scared.

Yeah.

And we, we call that teachable moments.

Like any opportunity that you have to point to Jesus in your child's.

Child's life, just take it.

Just take it and trust him to do the rest of it.

Yeah, yeah.

And not to be like beating them over the head with the Bible.

Right.

That can.

That can feel gross.

Oh, yeah.

We don't want that for anybody.

No, no.

Sharing that hope, sharing the peace that comes, sharing the truth without it being one more thing.

We don't want to.

We don't want to shackle our children with the word of God or with church.

We want them to see that God's protection is freedom.

Right.

And I love in that first chapter you, you mentioned that the first chapter of your book.

I love.

I have this quote down.

I'm going to read it.

You said it was the, the first thing you talked about.

Remember, you are only to obey God's leading.

You cannot force your children to obey God, but you can show them the way and be honest with them.

And I will tell you, we've talked about like when they're little and then we're talking about rainbows.

I got teens in my house.

I've got a 16 year old and a 14 year old.

We're not necessarily talking about the pretty rainbows.

I mean we do, it happens.

But more often than not, I am, I find myself having to open up my hands lately that spirit of surrender and okay, God, like here they are and the world is scary and I'm doing my daily best, but I can't, I can't grab my 16 year old who's, she's taller than me now and you know, I can't physically drag her into the car and force her to go to church necessarily.

So what does that look like if we have a day where she is stayed up too late and is refusing to get in the car?

And what does that look like on the daily to continue pouring into her spirit with love and reminding her of God's love.

And so as an exhausted mom, I'm just, I'm coming to you who's just doing her daily best.

Beth, speak to us.

What does this look like?

Knowing that it's not on our shoulders to make sure they follow God, just to be intentional in the day to day.

What does this look like in a practical sense and why is it important?

And you've talked about the teachable moments.

I feel like we've hit that one.

But I know you got more, girl.

I know there's more.

What you got.

I so do.

Okay, so here's the, the most important part to answer this specific question.

Do it yourself.

When you want your children to grow up to be grace filled, grace giving adults, you best be that way because they're not going to see it anywhere else and know how to do it without you.

So you get to be their model, you get to show them, you know, like it was really funny.

Somebody challenged me the other day.

I was talking about how I get up super early to spend time with Jesus.

And they're like, but do your kids ever see you reading the Bible because they're not up.

I'm like, oh, that's so good.

Like I need to make sure Mic drop.

I know.

I'm like, okay, thank you.

But it's loud.

So we figured that out.

But.

But it's.

It's praying and asking them to pray for us.

And when we mess up, we ask for forgiveness.

We ask for forgiveness.

We don't just say, I'm sorry.

Cause sorry is just being sorrowful.

It's just feeling bad.

But asking.

And then.

And then.

Is there something I can do to make up that to you?

I watched that modeled in my home.

My husband.

My amazing husband is phenomenal.

He.

He messed up in something and he went to my children.

It was so cool.

It was so cool.

He went to my children and he said, I really messed up.

I need your forgiveness.

These are the things I messed up.

Will you please forgive me?

And they're so gracious, you know, they're like, yeah.

And he's done it so much in their lives.

It wasn't a foreign thing to them.

And they're like, yeah, dad, we totally forgive you.

And he goes, okay, these are the things I'm going to do to make up to you the time that I took from you for this thing.

And I was like, oh, I married the right man.

He's amazing.

So we need them to see that, because how else are they going to know how to do it on their own if they don't see us doing it?

And we're going to mess up?

We're sinners.

It's not like we stop sinning when we accept Jesus.

So.

Right.

We got to do that.

And so.

So doing it on your own and being honest and getting accountability and not making.

You know, so often there's that.

There's that whole debate, like, are your kids your friends?

And are you your kids friends?

And those kinds of things.

Have a space where you can talk about things that are hard.

That's not just with them, but then talk to them about the space.

Like, the people you talk to about hard things and model that and make it be people who love Jesus, because, you know, you want them to be seeking those kind of friendships as well.

So modeling that, that's huge.

And then also, like, when things come up that they're dealing with, because they will, they're gonna deal with friends, they're gonna deal with mean teachers.

They're gonna deal with, like, especially where you're at in that.

In that zone, I'm in there, too.

Bringing it back to the word as often as we can.

Like, okay, so here's a proverb that might help you.

You know, I was just reading with My son this morning, helping him wake up.

And one of the expectations is that in our home, we started early but was, okay, when you wake up, you read the Bible, and they know that.

I'm gonna ask him, hey, what did you read?

And what do you think God wants you to do with it?

And so he's reading through Ecclesiastes right now.

And we were trying to.

It was about foolish people.

And we just started laughing.

It's hilarious.

We're reading Ecclesiastes 10, and we were just laughing so hard because he is just surrounded by fools.

Right?

To hear him go on about it.

Yes.

And it was so good because it was so rich.

And it was all based on just what the word was saying.

So, you know, sometimes you can tie it in, tie the word into what they're telling you, but sometimes you can just, you know, go the other way around in that.

That's really good.

And then another thing is just being together, part of it is hard.

It.

It is Sunday morning.

I don't know.

The spiritual attack on Sunday morning for everybody is tough.

Just getting out of bed, getting through the door.

You know, it's just a praise party that we got to the actual building.

Right.

So I would say part of the important thing is to surf together.

Part of the important thing is, is for your kids to see you serving so they know what a serving Christian adult looks like.

And not just separate.

Children go one way, teens go the other way, adults go the other one and run away.

Be together, serving when you can, and then also follow up with your kids.

Don't accept.

I learned, you know, What'd you learn about today, Jesus?

I don't know, Moses.

You know, the answers are like, get in there.

And if they won't give you the answer, you go talk to their teacher, and you go, what are you talking about in your class?

So that you know the questions to ask so that you can follow up.

Because they're just.

A lot of times it just falls right out their head when they leave.

Just like school, you know?

So when you're asking them questions, when we talk about it, we remember it.

So try to have those conversations.

Yeah, I love all of that.

And I really.

I am trying to be more intentional about finding opportunities where we can serve together.

Because you're right.

There is.

There are a lot of things of.

Like, the youth group is gonna go do this or.

Right, right.

You know, our kids are gonna get together and make cards for some, you know, or the adults.

This is adults only.

So there have been several times where the whole family can get together and serve in some way.

We've done like, you know, the food pantry.

You know, the kids can help pass out the food or.

And I also want to say, because I know not everyone listening has a church family or attends regularly or I have a couple friends that live pretty remotely.

There's not a church nearby.

And so they're reading their Bible and, you know, doing their daily best for the Lord.

But there's not a family like that to plug in.

And so I think whatever.

Whatever fits for you and your family, finding opportunities like that.

Maybe you go into town one day, a month or a quarter, whatever it is, and help out at the local food pantry, or you go to the store and shop for things for the local children's home or, you know, like, there are always things.

Write cards that you can mail to people.

Yeah.

There are just so many ways, I feel like, that we can gather as a family and do things like that together that don't necessarily seem obvious, you know, unless you're looking for them.

So.

And I do.

I agree.

That's so important.

Love those.

That's all so good, you know.

You know, around here, we are talking about how to quit spinning our wheels, running on hamster wheels, getting things done, not because we have to earn our worth or be efficient, but because we want that breathing room to have time with our families, have time with the Lord, all of that.

So are there any tools or any strategies that you have found that are helpful to manage your time and allow for that breathing room in your life and with your family?

Yeah, absolutely.

It's something.

It's really funny.

We have a joke in our family that I stink at rest.

My husband's amazing at it, but I really stink at it.

So I am a work in progress.

Let's just say it that way.

Yeah, we all are.

Are.

We all are.

Yeah.

One of the things that I have been doing that helps me a lot.

So I work from home, and that makes it a little bit hard to separate work and home.

Yes.

And so on Sunday, and because I do work at a church, I work on Sundays, technically.

And so when I get home from church, though, I try really, really hard to not do work.

Work.

Yeah.

On Sunday afternoon.

Sunday evening, and just kind of let myself breathe.

We actually ended up.

It just kind of happened.

We have a sort of Sabbath at our family.

We do pizza and movie night on Friday nights.

And so, honestly, like, from Friday evening through Saturday evening, we pretty much don't do very much.

We do a lot of Resting.

But I still let myself do a little bit of work on Saturdays, but on Sundays I'm like, okay, just at least an afternoon.

Just don't do any writing.

Don't try to, you know, connect with people while speaking.

Don't all those things.

Just be with your family and play games and take a nap.

And I was talking to my mentor about it.

She's so awesome.

She is this 80 year old retired quote unquote missionary who just loves the Lord.

She's read the Bible every year of her life since she was eight.

Amazing.

I know, I'm just like, let me sit at your feet, tell me all the things.

And I was talking to her about this, cause I said I'm really struggling.

And she said, honey, you don't have to not do anything.

You just need to slow down.

Just slow.

If your body tells you you need a nap, honey, take a nap.

If you need a snack, eat a snack.

If your kids need extra cuddles, go to.

So it's just listening to the Lord's leading into your body and making that happen.

Because honestly I am not going to have what I need for that week unless I do that.

Yeah.

So it's been really, really good for me to do that.

Yeah.

I love that you are setting that intention.

So it's not even, I want everybody to hear.

She did not just say, well, I've got this epic planner, I've got this system in place.

It is a simple intention within that weekend, a specific time period of listening to my body resting, slowing it down, listening to the Lord.

And that's a simple thing that anybody can do to have that intention going into it.

Just a period of time each week.

Love that one.

It's different seasons, you know, that may be a different time for me.

You know, when my kids are out of the house, I may have a different time that I can do that or whatever.

But it's, it's giving yourself that grace too to know, oh, you know what, I'm on a retreat this weekend.

Obviously I'm not gonna have that time or I'm gotta do this church thing or I gotta whatever.

But when you have the time, make the time.

Yeah, absolutely.

So are there any books or any podcasts?

We love a good book and podcast here.

So if you've got any references for us that you'd like to recommend, obviously, or drop in your book and, and resources in the show notes.

So links for all that you can find in the show notes.

But what book or podcast would you recommend for our ladies here?

Absolutely, absolutely.

So I have been reading through the Disciple Making Parent by Chat Bettis and it's so awesome.

If you go to the Disciple Making Parent website, he gives you the audiobook for free so you can listen to it like a podcast.

And it is fabulous.

It's so funny.

A lot of, A lot of stuff.

I didn't find him until after the book was published, my book.

And I was like, man, I'm not sure my books even need it.

I mean, it totally is.

It's a different.

Yeah, it's.

It's your voice.

Yeah, yeah, we really jive, so that's really cool.

And then also the Christian Girls Tea podcast is my favorite, favorite resource for girls who are middle school and high school age.

So mamas, if you're listening, get your girls listening.

It's an internationally listened to podcast that has really, really been effective.

It's got shows that are anywhere from five minutes all the way to like an hour.

So you can kind of listen to different topics.

And it's a really, really good.

It's actually really good for mamas to know what's going on to be listening to that too.

Yeah.

And I love the Fam Time podcast.

It's a family time training podcast.

And the Maven Parent podcast is also really, really on point.

Awesome.

We're gonna link all of that also.

Listen all the links today.

Check out the show notes.

Don't sleep on the show notes today, ladies.

All the links.

Beth, last question is super easy.

Where can we find you?

Oh, you can find me at bethmed.

Com.

It's all E's.

So B E T H M E V E R D E n dot com.

And all my stuff's there that you can link to the book.

You can get the book on Amazon.

Church and Kids four keys to keeping your children engaged in church.

And then I've got all sorts of other resources.

I just opened up a new Etsy shop, it's Training youg Child.

And there are some digital devotionals on there for mamas anywhere from 31 days all the way to four days.

So that's been really fun.

One, and then my Instagram.

I'm realizing I had not posted very much this month, but it's just training your child on Instagram.

So awesome.

That's where I'm at.

Go find Beth.

And you know what?

I'm right there with you on the Instagram posting.

We came out of the holidays.

We went into January.

January lasted for 50 years.

Totally.

And everyone came down with the flu.

I think our whole county has had the flu, so I'm just like, forget it.

I love you guys.

I'm still over here.

But we gotta live life, and that can't be pretty, so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's all good.

All right, everybody, go find Beth.

Beth, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your years of expertise and wisdom.

Thank you so much for letting me come be with you.

This is such a fun time.

Yeah, Great conversation, ladies.

Go find her, and we'll see you next time.